Dear everyone/anyone/whoever stumbles upon this blog,

On the off-chance that you’re a bridesmaid or maid of honor for an upcoming wedding and you’re looking for some inspiration, look no further. Below you will find my incredibly embarrassing-but-for-all-the-right-reasons-speech I presented for my best friend’s wedding last summer.

If my speech eases your burden of one of the most dreaded wedding party duties in some way (maybe you needed a reference, or what’s more likely, reading my speech has made you ten times more confident about yours because you think mine sucks), please do share!

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Good evening everyone.*

For those of you who I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting yet tonight, I’m Jackie, Kim’s right hand lady. And on behalf of the Bride and Groom, thank you all so, so much for coming out to celebrate their special day.

Now, once upon a time, Kim and I both ended up in Ms. Noel’s 9th grade English Class. And in class, you know, we were assigned some really wonderful, classic texts to read. But in our freetime, we liked to enjoy our own books.

One of the series we got into, which you may have heard of, goes by the name of Twilight. I’m sure some of you are familiar with the story, don’t be ashamed! But for those of you who aren’t – it’s a love story between a girl who falls in love with a guy who ends up being a vampire.

And we loved this series to pieces. We memorized quotes, dreamcasted our own characters for the movies, and when the cast of the film was announced, don’t even get me started. We may have gone to every. single. midnight. premiere. It’s safe to say we were obsessed.

We became one with the characters, the plot line, the passionate and forbidden love between Edward and Bella, forever cheering them on. The only time Alex, Kim and I ever played hooky in high school, we ended up at Target where we bought matching Team Cullen T-shirts. Yup, that was thing. It was ridiculous how crazy we were about the characters in a novel. Looking back, it’s downright embarrassing – but I’m proud to say it was all just a phase. As obsessed as we were with this series, we couldn’t help but wonder about our “Edwards.” Kim got so depressed after reading the second book that she died her hair black as an act of mourning!

She was so worried that no one would love her the way Edward loved Bella and she’d end up much like Jane Austen who we learned about when we were assigned to read Pride and Prejudice for class. But as her best friend, I knew she was being silly. She’s beautiful, talented in so many ways, and has one of the biggest hearts out there. All the guys we went to high school with – they just really sucked (no offense to Henrique). They just didn’t stand a chance to our Edward Expectations.

Enter David. You should be really proud of yourself, sir, for sweeping Kim off her feet. But it’s not like you had to try so hard since you’re just so naturally dashing, charming, and most of all, have such heartfelt affection for Kim. You two are truly meant to be.

I only wish you guys the most dazzling future – an eternity of happiness, love, and adventure – strength to overcome whatever hurdles test your relationship, and everlasting joy in each other’s company. I adore you two. Here’s to Kim and David’s Happy Ever After ~

*Disclaimer: I have never been comfortable about public speaking. Of all the duties being a maid of honor requires you to fulfill, I was dreading completing this one the most. The struggle was REAL. But I did it. It happened. I know I talked way too fast because I was so nervous and just wanted to get it over with. And then I burst into tears afterwards. And that was that. So if you’re nervous, from one incredibly anxious public speaker to another: you. can. do. this!!!